Pain, Loss, Kids

My son has a buddy, E. They've been in the same school for about five years now, and are reasonably close. My wife and I have gotten to know E's parents some, and our boy has spent the night over at E's house a few times. E's younger brother T developed a brain tumor over the past year or so, and last week he passed away. He was 11 years old. We went to T's funeral on Saturday. As you might expect, it was a very sad and draining event. One kid's funeral is too many, but it seems like I have been to way too many kid's funerals in the last couple of years. They tear me apart.

I think any parent looks at something like this and just can't imagine, CANNOT imagine, what the parents are feeling. No parent should have to bury a child at all, but when than child is *really* a child, the grief must be completely unbearable. I can't think about it without getting all upset and wanting to go hug my kids and keep them safe. Of course, you can't protect your kids from disease, and you can't lock them in the house, as much as you might want to, because they have to go out and learn about the world for themselves, and learn to protect hemselves, and learn to be responsible and well-adjusted citizens of the world all on their own. You try to teach them how to take care of themselves and you hope that some of it sinks in.

I try to tell my kids how much I love them, just like my mom used to try to tell me, and they look at me in probably the same way I used to look at Mom...they're humoring me, but they really don't get it. I don't think anyone gets it until they have kids of their own.

I know that anytime I see T's parents from now on, their eyes will show a pain that I can't imagine now, and hopefully will never feel. I won't understand their pain just as my kids don't understand how much I love them. I hope and pray that time and God will bring them some peace and comfort.